Better Than Christmas

Every year from about mid-June until the beginning of February (Superbowl Sunday to be exact) I drop one level on the priority list of my sweet husband. I am replaced by the wonderful world of football.
Today happens to be the most important day of the year for him. It's "Better than Christmas" for him. It's the day of the big Fantasy Football Draft... more affectionately known as cyber-football to me. It marks the beginning of several frustrating and/or rewarding weeks to come. Each Monday night for the next several months I will have either the most elated man around or someone not to be toiled with... someone whom you completely ignore so he can wallow in the misery of what is a game lost.
Now, I know a lot of men are into this little game (or way of life, as Bryan knows it), but most are not like Bryan and his friends. He and his high school buddies have played every year since they were, like, 2 years old or something. (With the exception of their missions.) Each year, pre-draft, there are MILLIONS of mock-drafts, talks of trades, keepers, who's been in the league for too long, and who the up-and-coming players are. I lose my husband several evenings a week to his "boyfriends" as I call them as they try to strategically plan who will pick which players and who will keep other players, and whether or not they should trade their draft pick for a better option.... I don't really know the details. I stop listening once I see the look in Bryan's eyes that tells me he has gone to another place... a place without nagging wives, needy 2 year olds, and crying babies. This "place" is a place he will be long after the phone call or instant messaging ends... a place he dreams of at night (over dreaming of me) and researches on the Internet during the day.
To illustrate my point of Bryan and his friends being COMPLETELY obsessed with their fantasy football league, please read the following. This is a poem that Clint wrote about their league. (I was told that it's MUCH funnier if you know all the guys.)

Twas the day of the draft and all through the land.
Team owners were hoping to not show their hand.

Bryan studies his options with worry and care,
In hopes that McNabb would somehow be there.

The wives are all nestled at home in their place,
While men go to Meacham's with smiles on their face

With all in their jerseys and some with a cap,
The draft started late because Clint had to crap.

Then up on the table stopped all of the chatter,
Alexander picked who? What the hell is the matter?

Away to his cell phone Dave left to go call her,
While Bill was still wishing he didn’t trade Palmer.

When what to our wondering ears did we hear,
Steve picking Mike Anderson yet one more year.

Now, Portis! Now, Manning! Now, Rivers and Grossman!
On, Romo! On, Boldin! On, Benson and Losman!

As he drew in his head, Ken thought of some sleepers,
After waiting so long Chad reveals all his keepers.

Jarrod bragged of his team as he filled up his belly.
Somebody farted… Man was it smelly!

We wrapped up the draft and finished our plight.
“Good draft day to all and to all a good night.”


You think that poem is bad? I guess now would be a good time to tell you (although I am sure few people are still reading this) that there is a name for this league of cute dorks. "Football Frenzie" is in it's 6th official season. There is a trophy which dons your name if you are the lucky season winner. (We had it PROUDLY displayed in our home a few years ago when Bryan won it... the following season he came in last place!)
All in all, this is the most important time of year for my amazing, sports-obsessed man, with perhaps the exception of the NBA Playoffs. I love that he loves his little cyber football so much. I love that he looks forward to this day all year long. I love that they all get together (no kidding, fly in from all over the place) one time a year to talk about a bunch of other men all day. I love that they started the morning off before the sun was even up with breakfast and won't be home until well after I go to bed, culminating with a late dinner after the Cardinals/Chargers pre-season game. I love that for the next several months, days will be measured in how long he has until he knows the results of whoever he is playing this week. I love that weeks will be judged based on which teams have byes that week. I love that he talks to me about football like I understand... and care. I love the way his eyes light up whenever he talks about this silly little game he plays with his friends. I just love Bryan. His obsession with fantasy football is one of the things I love the very most about him. He is, in every conceivable way, PERFECT!